ABACUS Garden Party 2010

Undoubtedly the highlight of your ABACUS year and possibly your life, the annual ABACUS garden party promises to be a highly enjoyable day with entertainment, amusement and even controversy; the new committee’s first proper event duly lived up to all expectations.

The party got off to a slow start with committee members preparing water-balloons and food in the 11th hour.  Our president even bribed a guest to take charge of the BBQ in exchange for a free ticket.
The party did promptly kick off however with members mingling with one another and digging into Phil Bao and Hong's skilfully cooked burgers and hot dogs, perfectly complemented by a glass of Pimms.  
Those with a more acquired taste would unearth the hidden gem of the Malibu-jelly – a delicacy so divine it was comparable to angels having fun-gasms on your tongue.  While ABACUS welcomes people from varying ethnicities, creating a mixing pot of culture within the society, a much more unwelcome mixture was that of vodka and watermelon – only those of us adventurous enough (or those who pay little regard to their health) were brave enough to nibble on these special treats.

 

The bouncy castle adventures began with the 'lads' wrestling and Yufan particularly standing out, demonstrating a high level of expertise in mixed martial arts – regrettably our kung-fu grandmaster, Chiwai, was not there to put him in his place; subsequently Yufan dominated the dog-piling.  The gentlemen eventually seduced the coy females to join them in the battle ring and it was at this time when the mini skirts blossomed, covering up even less than usual.

The party then crescendoed into the grand finale: the annual Miss ABACUS competition, a fierce contest where only the most masculine and courageous men were allowed to compete.
After the paparazzi invaded the stars' changing room and inexorably took photos - which would seemingly circulate on Facebook for eternity – the beautiful competitors took to the stage and the infamous catwalk followed.

The stunning Ryota Nishikawa with flowing Harajuku-dyed hair, a passionate gaze to tempt any onlooker and a figure to make Cheryl Cole insecure was first in the dazzling line-up. The alluring Andy Tse drew us all in with his elegant poise and sexy pout, not to mention the deliciousness of his sultry eyes. Rui Ang's outfit truly emphasised the figure of the dominating female. One feels that a mere stretch of his biceps would have left all eyes fixed on the Hercules underneath. Hugo Wainwright in a smouldering strapless number set many loins on fire - we're just disappointed those jeans didn't come off!  But none of these graceful size 6 models could quite match the show put on by the captivating Hong 'the Flasher' Chen as he catwalked the audience into a trance with a smile which could melt a thousand hearts and literally left little to the imagination.

Hong, the winner by unanimous decision, was rewarded for his achievement by our President throwing a water-balloon into his pretty face. This barbaric act caused great outrage from the Miss ABACUS camp and the antics which followed was anything but lady-like. The furious men in dresses, revived by the surge of testosterone, summoned their hunter-gather instincts to seize the water balloons and all hell broke loose as they sought vengeance for their fallen supermodel colleague.

The day was a huge success and a great and memorable way to celebrate the end of a hard year of work.  Harvey court is unlikely to witness a spectacle of such grace and decorum ever again and we should all thank the ABACUS committee which worked so hard together in order to make the day run as smoothly and as enjoyably as it did – thank you for making ABACUS history.

Andy Tse